I’m not so pleased with myself but everyone in some way, shape, or form falls from grace. I’m totally sensationalizing this event, but as a writer, that’s what we do. Here’s how it went down. It’s lunch hour. I’m walking to one of my favorite eateries and am crossing the street. The white “you may walk at this time” guy is illuminated and I’m briskly crossing the street. Almost reaching the other side, I see a colleague. Jovial greetings, hand shaking and all that…no big deal. Well the car in front of us starts revving her engine at us as this is happening. Keep in mind, the light’s still green. I have the right to walk at this time. Then she does it again…and I shoot her a dirty look and go back to my conversation. Incensed, she stands and the gas pedal.
I want it to be noted that a car can be used as a weapon, if it couldn’t, then you probably wouldn’t need a license to drive one. When you rev your engine at someone, you are acknowledging that fact and you are threatening someone’s life. In this case, mine.
I know I can't physically hurt this girl. I’m not packing heat, but I do see that her window is rolled down. So again, I make eye contact and then I say “Go ahead and rev your engine at me one more time you C*NT! See if that makes me move any faster. ” Her jaw dropped. I haven’t used that word for anyone other than Ann Coulter in years. I don’t feel good about it either. When I was younger I would have reveled in the fact that I got the opportunity to put someone in his or her place. To be clear, I don’t feel bad about it either. The chick may as well have pointed a gun at me. It’s the same thing. I guess it’s the feeling of pity that this lost little girl thinks it appropriate to treat people like that. Poor little girl. I hope she finds wisdom through a life-changing event. For example, She could get lost in the wilderness and nearly starve to death, but then by the grace of god, kind surrogate vulture parents would nurse her back to health by vomiting corpse bits and what-not into her mouth, saving her life. Yeah, that’d do it. I wish that for her.
Now I feel warm inside.